Greetings from the road! I am writing this blog as we wend our way through South Dakota, en route to Minneapolis (where we shall, at our parents’ requests, prance about as independent businesswomen and jauntily throw our chapeaus into the air).
I apologize for not updating the blog yesterday. It was my turn to post, and I fell asleep, or rather, I pretended to be asleep while Elise and Simmie prodded me to add a post…I was exhausted because we had had such a big South Dakta day!
So yesterday, we slept in a bit, procured free newspapers and coffee at our swanky hotel (yay Hotwire!), and then hit the road—the rainy, rainy road. The drive proved that driving so much in such a short amount of time can make you a little wacky! Our wackiness apparently manifests itself in a disturbing obsession with dinosaurs! By the way, does anyone know if there are any dinosaurs in natural gas? If you do, please email Elise immediately and ease her mind.
But before we could venture into cosmopolitan South Dakota, we had to drive through Wyoming! Where buffalo (and nothing else) roam! After stopping at a rest stop in Chugwater (a town aptly named after the action one must take after eating Chugwater’s “world-famous” chili!) and nearly being run over by a dozen Mennonites exiting the washroom in height order, Elise and I determined that we had entered a Coen brothers’ film.
We made it out alive.
Then, we stopped at Wind Cave, where we took an elevator down into the bowels of the earth. Our tour guide led us through the many rooms discovered by one Alvin McDonald in the late 1800s. In an attempt to re-create the “sights, sounds, and emotions” experienced by Alvin and his comrades so many years ago, our tour guide saw it fit to turn off the lights! I immediately tried to burrow into Elise’s shoulder. Who knew if this was a normal part of the tour?? Perhaps our tour guide in his olive green get-up and straw hat had finally had enough of forest ranging. Perhaps he would never turn on the lights and we’d stay in there forever, eventually becoming part of the national park.
After a minute or two the ranger turned the lights back on.
This is what we could see with the lights on.
Then we continued driving to Mount Rushmore! The actual monument is lovely, if a bit smaller than expected. However, the little museum in the complex overlooking the monument is quite spectacular (or at least I thought so). Here are some little known facts that we gleaned from the exhibits:
• Gutzum Borglum (the architect) is the best name ever
• In the original design, the presidents were spooning (with Lincoln in the back looking as though he was playing a very important game of peek-a-boo). I know that Simmie already mentioned this; however, after viewing the photo (again), I think you'll agree that this tidbit bears repeating.
• There was a statewide campaign to raise funds for the construction of Mount Rushmore. Schoolchildren were encouraged to donate 10 cents to the cause. Government officials expected to raise upwards of $10,000. Unfortunately, they raised a mere $1,400. Historians attribute this discrepancy to the fact that a new-fangled toy, the “yo-yo,” was released during the fundraiser. The cost of a yo-yo?—10 cents.
After deciding that we could not eat dinner in the disturbing town that has sprung up around Mount Rushmore (think Disneyworld, with motorcycles and many references to the Flintstones. Or, as Simmie just dubbed it, “tourist hell”). Instead, we continued driving to Wall, South Dakota, home of Wall Drug (basically a glorified rest stop that offers free water and bumper stickers), where we expected to encounter an even greater tourist hell. But it was actually quite nice. Elise rode a barrel, and I even found myself a man.
Finally, we watched Michael Phelps win a gold medal (we should just cut an post this sentence to the end of every post). And thus ended our last Friday of the trip.
We woke up on Saturday full of vim and vigor! Why? Because we were going to the Corn Palace and the Mall of America! But before we could see these blights on the American Landscape, we had to visit one last National Park (so as to not feel too guilty).
Before we headed out on our journey, people (including a real South Dakotan!) had encouraged us to visit Badlands National Park. Most described it as being “Mars-like.” They were quite right. You’re driving through flat, flat South Dakota, barrels of hay being the only topographical relief for miles, when suddenly you’re confronted with giant, crumbing, striated mountains.
We took a lot of pictures.
We are currently 100 miles from the Corn Palace! The rest of this post will be added later, detailing our maize adventures!
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Okay, so the Corn Palace was a bit of a letdown. The roof isn't even made of corn, c'mon South Dakotans! Nonetheless, we did manage to eat some corn, and Simmie bought a bright orange popcorn ball.
Then we drove some more (along the way, passing my favorite billboard so far: "Inspect our restrooms! We do!" In case you were wondering, it was an advertisement for a campground).
Finally we arrived at what we thought would be shopping Mecca--The Mall of America. Turns out it was just another mall. Hmm. At least the pots were big!
Tomorrow we head back to Chicago! I'm a bit sad that the trip is over (though I am really, really looking forward to sleeping and sleeping and sleeping). Tomorrow we'll post some informal polls about our most/least favorite places. That is, unless we all divest ourselves of our belongings, buy bikes, and move to Boulder.
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