No, we're not dead

So apparently Simmie and Melissa have received concerned calls from family members wondering why we haven't updated the blog in two days. Well, we're not dead -- we're at the Grand Canyon, and apparently providing free WiFi is not high on their list of priorities. But we finally found a place, and it just happens to be a sports lounge that is also showing the Olympics, which also just happens to be the women's gymnastics team finals tonight. So it looks like I'll be doing the blogging tonight, while Melissa and Simmie have conniptions on either side of me.

So, where to begin? We reached Moab, Utah on Sunday night, after Simmie drove us through the Rockies over steep, winding roads in pouring rain. Here she demonstrates her 10 o'clock/2 o'clock grip on the wheel:


Anyway, Simmie got us safely across the Rockies, and Melissa took over driving for what would be the most desolate stretch of road we'd seen to date, in Northeast Utah (state motto: "No Services at this Exit"). But then we made the turn toward Canyonlands National Park, and sudenly the ground erupted into enormous red cliffs that towered on either side of us. Canyonlands was amazing and unexpected; it was our first taste of the southwestern landscape with all of its alien features.


We managed to arrive at a hiking path just as a ranger was about to lead a tour, so we went with him on a 1.5-hour walk along the rim of a mesa from which we could see the rest of the park. We were beginning to grasp just how huge everything in the southwest was.

I decided to do some leisurely boulder-lifting for fun.

The next day we went to Arches National Park, a mere day after one of their most famous arches collapsed. The park certainly had its act together: the visitor's center already had laminated before-and-after photos of the arch. (We're also pretty sure that the arch that collapsed is the arch that's on our annual NPS pass -- collector's item!) Arches National Park, as you may have surmised, contains a lot of arches. Huge, naturally-occurring stone arches.


Melissa and Simmie climbed up into one of the arches, but I decided to stay down at the bottom and watch.


After we left Arches, we headed for the Grand Canyon. We took a detour to Four Corners, which was one of the most depressing places I've ever been. Here's a photo!


Basically, we got out of the car, took this photo, waited in line for ten minutes to buy a postcard from an impoverished Native American woman who was also selling frybread out of her trailer, considered using the bathroom but discovered that there were only portapotties, and then got back in the car and left. I think I can safely say that visiting Four Corners once was enough for a lifetime.

So, the Grand Canyon. I'm not going to post any photos of the Grand Canyon because photos don't really do it justice. Nor can words, so I won't try to describe it except as "unfathomable." We briefly saw the canyon on Monday night, but by that point it was starting to get dark so we headed to the campground to set up our tent. We went to the market and got ingredients for a lantern- and citronella-candle-lit dinner.


Then we went to the sports bar to watch the men's gymnastics team finals and drink soda (the bartender: "What, are all three of you driving?" We got carded for the sodas, by the way). After we got kicked out of the bar (all that caffeine in the diet Coke got us rowdy), we headed to an overlook to watch the Perseids. We saw a few good meteors, but there was too much light around us to really see anything impressive. Driving back to our campsite, we encountered an enormous buck leisurely strolling through the campground, in search of food.

Okay, now we're up to today. Today we woke up early and headed for Bright Angel Trail, the main trail that goes down into the canyon. We decided to hike down to the 1.5-mile rest station, then hike back up. There were approximately 5 million signs telling us not to attempt to hike down to the river and back in one day or we would die. We didn't really need any convincing. There were also a lot of signs telling us not to fall off the edge of the canyon or we would die. Once again, we didn't really need a lot of convincing on that point.


So we set out, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed (as you can see above). The descent wasn't too bad; the path was a little slippery at some points and there was copious donkey poop to avoid, but it wasn't particularly taxing and we arrived at the rest station in about an hour. And that's where we encountered the Grand Canyon squirrels.


The squirrels in the Grand Canyon have clearly been fed by many, many people. Not only are they not afraid of humans, but they can recognize human food and they will do anything to get it, including trying to grab it out of your hands despite the fact that you are roughly 400 times larger than they are.


While we were at the rest station, we also witnessed a helicopter flying in and dropping off materials to repair a broken pipe at the water pump.


And then we began the ascent. That part... was not so much fun. Hiking uphill in relentlessly sunny 90-degree heat for a mile and a half is not something I would choose to do on a daily basis. But after many, many pauses (most of which were requested by me), we finally made it back to the top, sweaty and dirty and greasy and just generally disgusting. The general guideline for hiking into the canyon is that it takes twice as long to walk back up as it takes to walk down; it took us an hour to walk down and an hour and fifteen minutes to walk back up. I think we powered our way back up the trail because it was so unpleasant we just wanted it to be over.


We showered, ate an enormous lunch, drove to a few lookout points, took a nap, woke up dehydrated, and we've been eating, drinking Gatorade, and watching the Olympics for the rest of the evening. Tomorrow it's off to Santa Fe!